"Keep walking...just keep walking.."
Thanks people..
those that dropped me a msg .. facebook/msn.
(esp so to by order of appearance.. haha..boon, ahmad, ting,boon's roomie who's also a boon, yj, shan and msneo, oldmanandy...i hope i didnt miss out anybody)
I'm feeling better.. but it still sucks.
Reason why i was so unhappy is actually because of my work at IA.. actually quite normal for most ppl to feel sian abt it.. but i'm kinda in some deep shit now.
The past weekend i was shuttling back and forth Sengkang and Hougang Library, trying to find better books to help me with this project of mine.. which is related to Excel Visual Basic programming.. Went back to work on Monday.. realised i hadn't got a good enough book.. so i went back again to re-borrow a better book.. Going to work again on Tuesday.. i worked around with the new stuff i've learnt, managed to program one or two simple functions.. but then again.. i'm stuck with another new problem.. $%^&*#
Looking at the rate i'm going at.. i'm worried that i can't finish it on time.. and i'm running out of ways to help myself.. well.. some of you all might be thinking ... why can't i get help from my supervisor? or my colleague? well.. the problem is that tat they only raise the request to do this programming project within excel.. to speed things up for them by programming a search/ enquiry macro within excel.. but then cos they are not IT trained so they can't realli help me.. my coy also does not have IT support staff to help me too cos all the IT work has been subcon out already..
so i'm on my own. i've borrowed the best books i can borrow from the library.. waiting for the library to call me up to collect one more that i've reserved. looked it up on the internet for possible answers, posted my query on the internet.. and i wonder if i can find all the answers this way.. i'm already stuck at the simple stuff.. then what about the difficult parts..
and i cannot say no. i can't do the project. cos i'm an intern. i can't give up. cos my grades weigh on it.
and i cannot say no. cos i'm not a subject matter expert. my in-charge for this project probably won't accept that i can't come up with a solution for this.
actually, you don't need all this difficult programming to find what the engineers need. you can do all of it manually. well. i did just that last week.. was thinking.. wah. whats the big issue about it.. not so difficult mah. After being brief by colleague.. i was clueless.. i wondered why the engineers are having problems looking for the stuff..all the data's already there.. so I used pivot tables to show the engineers what they can do ... since not many people use pivot tables.. i even sent them all the email with the draft of the template i've come up with...
and i felt like a fool after that.
my colleague just went through the thing.. and repeated the requirements of the project as he tried using the pivot table and find it just not 'friendly' enough. Only then i realised. he was just being nice and didnt wanna tell me straight in the face to stop being silly and like a kid.. coming up with such a thing... they would have did that long ago if they weren't looking something so simple..
now i just can't help thinking that they might think i'm just a dumb intern.. wth.
so yeah. dats what i'm unhappy with basically bah. but i guess.. when u are unhappy.. you tend to lump all the unhappiness together and emo about the same time, get pissed over it.
i was thinking... why am so unlucky all the time... or having to struggle so much.
i have to struggle with my studies... i am not really a slacker.. but my grades are always crappy. on the line.. which stresses me out.. when its my turn to support my parents. i wanna do a damn good job at that.
i have to struggle for my ia... i'm given a black listed tutor, plus i'm already not learning enough about stuff related to mech eng.. and i'm stuck wif some support staff work , programmin a code.
i have to struggle with my .... .... tried so hard last time, didnt work out. ended up with other ppl discussing.. say maybe i square. yes i am. i'm traditional, simple ... but some things are not meant for jokes.
but then, i guess. i'm glad to have a good enough family that is financially sound, don't need to apply for grant or bursary.. and my family is close enough.. lesser of those big squabbles though we are all quite quick tempered.. and i have a close circle of friends.. well.. mebbe close circles of friends bah..
so maybe.. that makes up for the lousy parts of my life ?
Life is tough.
anyway.. to cheer me up today.. i subscribed to MOBTV. lol. why?
jus to watch that silly telemovie "Sweet Tapioca Porridge" on it.. its damn cheesy.. but its simple and nice. local telemovies or dramas can be nice .. but not all are nice. some characters are plain silly. and i dun understand why they always get Eelyn Kok to act as some manic depressive crazy girl. I'm glad they dun give such roles to Apple Hong, Jessica Liu and Rebecca Lim. I can also catch up on the 9 pm drama "the dream catchers" which my company sponsored or helped with it.
glad that they released Yuna Ito's Trust PV already. before March even came.
Itou Yuna - trust you PV @ Yahoo! Video
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