lost

second day of school and on to my third lesson in this new semester and i feel lost in the chaos of fitting back into school... the need to get new notes, new books. nothing seem quite right at all today and i'm rather vexed over several thoughts.

i'm still trying to detach myself from my small little world which just revolves around my fyp and re-adjust back to juggling it together with other subjects and modules and trainings.

once again, everything is just fighting for a piece of my time, and the thought alone makes me feel pretty stretched already.

thinking of my fyp as i continue to rush my solidworks, kinda puts off my mood for anything else right now... that includes my very own birthday, which i don't think i will be having much of any celebrations for it at all...

speaking about bdaes..

if not for faizal's reminder last night i would have forgotten to wish ashley and gary happy bdae today... besides these two birthdays, there was also joyce's 21st birthday party last week. yu juan's 21st birthday party is also coming soon too and then there's Huikai's one next week together with my mom's.

For Ashley and Joyce, i feel bad for not being able to celebrate their bdaes like i like to, but i dun think i can fully relax and do any celebrating properly while wrestling with the thought of needing to be at my desk and rush my model out soon so i can send in for the final fabrication and this must be done soon. dilemma.

Right now each day, i'm just praying that i don't receive any email from my fyp partner and my professor for a meeting to finalise the model. Though I've been working hard everyday for the past 2 weeks, i've yet to complete my part of the model ... and it doesn't seem to be so until a few more days.

arugh,

i hate this feeling but would i fall to my death if i let go?