my 25th burfday

before i continue on the next leg of my fyp marathon for the next meeting this coming thursday...

on 15th Jan, 7:18am

*hp buzz*

Joko: Hey dear dear, message me when u are up and awake k? Happy Birthday!

Me: *stops snoozing after my 7am alarm on my hp, reads message.. ponder.. mmm.. is my gf sending me food again?.. replies sms and starts sitting up at my bed stoning.. *

later again at 8:21am..

Joko: Oh u can go wash up and stuff.. but i am sending u somethin so u stay around in your room k?

Me: mmm *ponder .. i think she must be sending me mac breakfast..haha silly girl... again spend money on me.. . mmm..confirm .. reply back*

Joko: ha ha how u guess de. Then no a surprise le.. pfft..

8:30am

Joko: Hey dear dear.. where are u? go to the bus stop in front of your hall k?

Me: mmm *still stoning in my room... after waking up an hr ago. i decide to finally wash up.. , opens door.. look straight across the field and i was shocked to see my Gf walking over from the bus stop outside my room...OMG*

thanks Dear .. for the pleasant surprise the other morning, haa. it was the best bdae surprises i have so far!

thanks for taking the day off to spend it with me in school though i was busy and wasn't able to spend much time with you while you were here. Sorry for making you spend so much money on the cab on your way to school..

Thanks for the nice bag, and the cute diy scrapbook card too! haha..

my mood was kinda crappy for that week and thanks to you..

Your presence that day alone brighten my day and many other days to come too. =)

Thank You and I love you! haha.. <3<3<3

to my friends who celebrated my bdae with me one way or another last last friday

thanks guys for being there for me though i'm always busy with one activity or another...

it was really heartwarming to have you guys remember and even get me something...

thanks for supporting me and always cheering me on as i fight my fyp.

to my lawn bowling friends who decided to throw me a surprise celebration on last saturday

thanks guys for taking care of me when i am having trouble doing so... thanks for helping me recharge my batteries and the encouragement! (thanks for the funny perspiration shirt and the uniqlo shirt.. mebbe i can use it for the career fair this week)

lost

second day of school and on to my third lesson in this new semester and i feel lost in the chaos of fitting back into school... the need to get new notes, new books. nothing seem quite right at all today and i'm rather vexed over several thoughts.

i'm still trying to detach myself from my small little world which just revolves around my fyp and re-adjust back to juggling it together with other subjects and modules and trainings.

once again, everything is just fighting for a piece of my time, and the thought alone makes me feel pretty stretched already.

thinking of my fyp as i continue to rush my solidworks, kinda puts off my mood for anything else right now... that includes my very own birthday, which i don't think i will be having much of any celebrations for it at all...

speaking about bdaes..

if not for faizal's reminder last night i would have forgotten to wish ashley and gary happy bdae today... besides these two birthdays, there was also joyce's 21st birthday party last week. yu juan's 21st birthday party is also coming soon too and then there's Huikai's one next week together with my mom's.

For Ashley and Joyce, i feel bad for not being able to celebrate their bdaes like i like to, but i dun think i can fully relax and do any celebrating properly while wrestling with the thought of needing to be at my desk and rush my model out soon so i can send in for the final fabrication and this must be done soon. dilemma.

Right now each day, i'm just praying that i don't receive any email from my fyp partner and my professor for a meeting to finalise the model. Though I've been working hard everyday for the past 2 weeks, i've yet to complete my part of the model ... and it doesn't seem to be so until a few more days.

arugh,

i hate this feeling but would i fall to my death if i let go?

dust

i returned back to last night and was greeted by a dusty bed, full of cat fur and a dusty table.

my shelves were still occupied by last semester's notes...

rather than to pack them under my bed or into my wardrobe cupboard, i think i should start to pack them to bring back home.

its my last semester.

after three and a half years of staying in this room.

now back to my fyp ...

we are powerful beyond measure

Our Greatest Fear

- Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frighten us.

We ask ourselves, who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that

other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

***

It's the second time i heard this short prose..

from the movie akeelah and the bee.. first was from coach carter..

as i thought through my grades and cap yesterday, i calculated that i had to score As in every thing now on in order to get my 2nd lower which is kinda hard.

but who's stopping me but myself alone ?

last sem, final push, whatever it is, you will still get a job, get married, start a family and in the process grow old

even if you don't get into exxon , even if you don't get the class you want,

you will still make do, with the best of your ability.

***

Although Batam was not really a dream destination, i guess i enjoyed myself still and managed to relaxed a little bit before school starts...

The hotel stay at Holiday Inn was nice and i think i enjoyed it more than heading out to Nagoya town and Batam Center for shopping since i brought the wii along and we could swim and do gym and play ping pong. There isn't much to buy over there anyway. Food-wise, you've got your regular seafood restaurants, which like everywhere try to rip you off. We had more vege dishes than any meat or fish. Had my A&W treat in a like 20 years and i now remember why they closed down. Had my first body massage, not sure if it's supposed to be nice or just pain but it didn't leave any deep impression on me... and i managed to burn all my ruppiah on 3 Polo shirts.. with some help from joko.. haha..

we were excited till we paid for the food and saw the portions

celebrating new years one hour later, watching a bunch of Indo officials on tv, none as excited as those mediacorp actors/ actresses we usually see ...

can't wait to watch Invictus

I am the master of my fate.

I am the captain of my soul.

school starts next week. this week is fyp cram week.

Happy New Year to everyone once again!