Garfield's sleeping outside my room right now..

at around 753pm

in the midst of my dinner, i received a buzz in my pants

and the subsequent drum beats of Ali in the Jungle

I put down my utensils and looked at Joko...

both of us look quizzically at each other, wondering who it might be...

M: *hullo?*

>: Hi! I'm X and I'm calling to ask you about your job application to _ _ _ company

>: Do you have 5 minutes? I am doing a shortlisting for interviews

and i want you to tell me how good you are so i can pick you to come down for it?

*slight pause*

>: so can you tell me how good you are?

M: *without hesitation* I am good! *chuckle*.... but i already have a job offer. thanks.

that was a rather random and sudden request.. and definitely my first time having such an awkward "pants down" kind of experience.

one of the thoughts that came racing through my mind after that was "what if"

it was one of the companies i wanted, though i still didn't know much about it.

the company was situated in the vicinity near the big red light where you turn left towards prince edward road and head towards ECP every year during StanChart.

[coincidentally, near the place where i "OMG" @ msb...ricetan 2 yrs back during nikerealrun, a fact that i'm glad mr JQ didn't know. fond memories though, leslie knows..]

J: Since you decided already, then don't think le.

my gf was kind enough to quickly squash that thought as quickly as it came up from my mouth.

she knows me too well.

I guess,

I've decided right from the start, its already too late for others to approach me.

Even if its my uncle's company, i would have rejected it.

I don't think i'm that good to play a month long of deal or no deal with a bunch of people .

I think i rather just grab that carrot in front of me, it's already right smack in my face.

Would you hope and dream? or would you just go for second best?

maybe not now i guess? maybe never?

a damn bloody obscene pose

"the clouds are here... he's come to see us..."

"life is great... "
"this is the most experienced rower in our team..."
"swee..."
"pi ah..."

seeing the videos.
they remind me of the last 3 years.
how that there's always something against me participating in the comps.

its the same this year yet again.
and perhaps not just me but the remaining of my motley crew of 5.

in the past, its always the army.
this year, its cos of my new job...

yep, i've got a job offer, passed the interviews but yet to sign.
pays okay but the work's tough.
it's kinda good for starters i guess.

i wonder how it would be like when i start, would i have the time to come back?
i was thinking about it in church today, kinda feel silly for not asking ahead abt the training programme.
guessed no matter how, i will still have to go thru it and it comes first over the other training programme then...

just like how some will pick up their sar21 and chiong shua, some will pick up their spanner and head onboard a ship, some will drive about singapore meeting people over coffee...

for now.
lets just finish this report. i look forward to the end of it all.

i kinda got what i wanted for the 4 yrs. not all went well, but i've got mostly what i wished for. i should end it well too..

In the Shop..... ZARA, Marina

Love the Jacket. Love the girl more too.

She looks good in that coco chanel lookalike jacket.

*inspired by the sartorialist*

hahah

random

taking a random break off the fyp monster... my motivation is to quickly clear this and prepare for exams as well as the shopping and pak tor timing that will soon follow..

talking about that.. me and joko had a random moment that we had to snap some photos of while shopping sometime back after my bdae...

@ zara, marina square..

look at the number of boyfriends waiting outside the changing room..

all with their arms folded and having blank stares.

if not for their partners who mostly only came out after 15 minutes later,

we would have thought it they were some flash mob hired by the store for some publicity stunt.

epic. cosplay.. (fail)

go where no dog has gone before...

mus(i)c therapy

the only thing on my playlist for yesterday's run about campus ...

// a damn good song to run with

and the source of the constant twitching in my left ear.

e-learning week seems like recess week but minus the time

its a rather short week this week...

since my days from today to sunday are each packed with some activity

wed-evening training

thurs-afternoon interview... better luck this time i hope

fri-night Mailene's wedding dinner

sat & sun - MR500 comps..//

then its the start of the first of last 2 weeks before exams.

%#^#E* and my report is not done yet. at least my part for qa and ndt is done already.

mmm... i was talking to my gf yesterday about the music we have in our comp last nite

and that my sis only have dance trance from differen djs music on her mac...

happen to chance about this when i youtube searched for dj

-> 69 year old DJ .. DJ Mamy Rock

//wouldn't you like your ah ma spinning vinyl for your party..

its worth more than the words i can say to you...

spent most of the day meddling with my ndt report,

finished most of the theory part but i need to work on the analysis and the discussion part... thats the meat of the report.

sigh. i wish i can finish this soon, i still have my QA and my FYP report after this

i was so engrossed in my work that i got duped while buying my dinner today,

left the mixed vege rice store today without collecting my change,

when i went back to check, the uncle just feigned any thought of it...

and he even had the cheek to ask if i bought my food from them a long time back...

cos he couldn't rmb when i patronised his store... when it was just 5 minutes ago.

with nothing to prove,

i just have to leave.

seeing this in the evening made my day though...

thanks alot k Joko...

this alone, is enough help already

GangDong... =)

fml

good things, bad things.. when they come, they come in pairs..

my quiz didnt go so well.

and mom smsed me to tell me i got a letter that i wasn't

i have so lil' empathy to the stuff that i am studying or doing in school half the time

much cos there's too much to do

and not much time to appreciate it.

well.. nothing to gripe about.

thats what sucks about my education

i'm stuck at a stage

halfway stuck inside, halfway out.

everybody gets knocked down....

will the real Alice please stand up

wierdass wicked..

wonderland wouldn't be quirky enough to fit her in.

i'm wonder if lady gaga intentionally designed that giant hat of hers she wore when she got released from prison as a flash diffuser..

amused.

it reminds me of the nomoreheroes wii game.. esp at ard 4:35 of the mtv... doing that little dance before heading out.

a mix of influences from madonna's vogue era, britiney's toxic, and very much pulp fiction and kill bill..

this is good. but its not gonna be enough.

there's so much to be done.

mrt. bus. the public area.

mmm...

a mix and mesh of the comics..

silver centurion suit in a briefcase @ 2:22

original gold and red suit.

stark vs justin hammer ...armor wars

war machine

I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are

Alice was great...

as expected of the cast... each of them played each part well..

a mad hatter getting increasingly mad over fury but not cos of insanity...

a red queen who acts like a cougar after a young knight who serves her to protect his head...

a white queen who every inch not like a queen... but more like the 'ms Bai in the 'your hand in mine' drama on chn8

haa...

many times during the film.. as i watch hatter speak,

it seems as if the next moment jack sparrow will make a cameo from a mushroom somewhere

training yesterday was okay..

tiring..

i kept myself going during the circuits by humming the song in nike ad as i pushed myself to run.

all things failed when i had a stitch.

"its .. not.. how you start...

but how you finish.. "

as i logged on msn this morning, panic is in the air for my friends..

1 more week before our fyp report submission

my batteries are charged

and ready to go!

thoughts of you in my mind

if there's one pain i dun mind enduring now

is to don on a bra, some leggings and be electrocuted in a shower tub

for the gift to hear your's

jus like how mel gibson did.

just that i will do so quietly and at some secret corner of your room

or mebbe that spot where the pink elephant squat,

mebbe under the red table or

just simply behind your door

friday

Its finally friday.

the last weekday of my last recess.

much like the other 7 in the last 3 1/2 yrs... its just work work work.

but just that i get to work harder for this one...

right now i'm still missing out on my fluids quiz revision, my QA and NDT CAs.

once again.. i didnt sleep . stayed up cos of my fyp.

felt like puking and feeling so bad at 5am that i have to quickly finish up what i was doing by 5.30am and go hit the sack only to wake up again by 7.30am to finish up.

anyway.. the solidworks drawings finally done by 930am.

byebye~! off you go to JJ.

i went out on wednesday i realised that Prints and Gloria Jeans has closed down in Raffles City due to renovation works. Mutter. but at least thats good in the sense i wont be tempted by incredibly overpriced coffee and pretty cards whilst i'm there.

*

looking forward to Alice tomorrow with my hot date!

=)

tomorrow will be better

Fix You - Coldplay: Grey's Anatomy
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

today.

Trouble - Lenka : Grey's Anatomy

Trouble he will find you no matter where you go, oh oh

No matter if you're fast, no matter if you're slow, oh oh

The eye of the storm or the cry in the mourn, oh oh

You're fine for a while but you start to lose control

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart

He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part

Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Trouble is a friend but trouble is a foe, oh oh

And no matter what I feed him he always seems to grow, oh oh

He sees what I see and he knows what I know, oh oh

So don't forget as you ease on down the road

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart

He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part

Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm

I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm

Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Oh how I hate the way he makes me feel

And how I try to make him leave, I try

Oh oh, I try!

He's there in the dark, he's there in my heart

He waits in the wings, he's gotta play a part

Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh

So don't be alarmed if he takes you by the arm

I won't let him win, but I'm a sucker for his charm

Trouble is a friend, yeah trouble is a friend of mine, oh oh!

Ooo, oh ooo, ooo ahh

just hope things look up for you...

and even if trouble knocks,

have a tune for him

he will pass you by soon enuff

***

The events passed by today like clockwork, paced nicely one after another.

systematic, predictable and all appropriately handled

It's been a rather productive day.

Training was good, things are looking up for most but of course, there are still some lost sheep

I can finally finish up some of the finer details of my fyp solidworks design

and start developing the engineering drawings... i can use them as buffer for my report appendix

yesterday's interview was also good though i'm not sure about my chances of being selected for the 1yr program.

and even if i'm selected... 1 yr seems pretty short and offers no sense of security...

much to the irony on why i am entering into this industry at the first place.

we shall see...

this morning seems unexpectedly good.

i received my first interview call....

great.

=)

coincidentally that i received the call while i was on my 'throne'

its one of my top choices... though if i walk along this path, it means no turning back towards the technical path of an engineer...

mmm.. 3rd day.

feel very much exasperated ... i can't really breathe and i have to cough in order to get enough air.

i managed to complete my solidworks last nite....

my only complaint now was that my miter gears from the catalogue i was using

doesn't have any keyway information for me to draw them into the gear shaft....

waiting to be shot. i hope JJ is a nice guy and can take charge and stop throwing the design back to me. hah.

fyp report, fluids quiz and lots of other shitniz awaits me...

managed to reap some unexpected gains this morning during my breakfast net surf...

luv this film.

made me tear a lil the last time i watched

and oh ya.. and this too..

....

i hope my friend.. my ex-colleague and da jie won't do this on her wedding..

thank god she's singaporean.

tuna's meant to be eaten at the sushi bar, or during exams...

not cut like a wedding cake.

sick

my body finally breaks down.

woke up today feeling worse than yesterday..

sick

sore throat and cough, blocked nose, headache and impending fever to come...

no more late nites for me. even if i need them.

one motor bracket to draw and lots of minor components here and there as well..

it gets totally tedious when you need to source for existing mechanical components from suppliers and incorporate them into your design...

elsewhere,

i have to start my report and revisions soon le. and i think my running shoes misses me.

mmm.. iso love this new white coffee i'm drinking

must be the sugar..

i better keep it to max 2 cuppa a day.

totally random

mmm.. jus posting this link so i can come back and listen to this song..

to keep me awake thru the night sometimes...

i will turn on the magic telly on my lappie and watch the old movies...

happen to hear this song featured in at least 3 of them

mmm.. one more week for my solidworks thingamob...

random fats

i'm lucky i've been kept busy with my ccas and studies.

if i were much more free and decided to embark on a self exploratory hobby i would most definitely choose cooking ... much like my dad just that i would focus on the western cuisines instead..

and i most probably turn out fatter than now....

just look at this blog... http://bossacafez.blogspot.com/

omg. i love the food photography.. really clean.

[there's also some food reviews and recipes.. etc... ]

anyway..

its all the fyp's fault... no matter what.

// no matter what ... for making me so busy i have to skip 432950lessons, skip my sleep, skip my training, skip outings... and its definitely my fyp's fault for making me lose sleep tonight again.

anyway, a Happy Chinese New Year to all...

even if it isn't that happy cos of whatever that happened... try2be. there's always someone for you.

auntie, kopi ge lar ji puay!

had quite a lengthy chat over a cuppa and dinner,

listening to the talk, i kinda think that others are doing what we used to do like some past year papers, but we aren't doing any of those tried and test methods... i wonder if some of the kids feel we have some sort of thru-train program of sorts.

comme ci comme ca... whatever lil helps..

too bad i'm not superman or spiderman, not even a superhero to be looked up upon.

i'm just the person making iron man's legs and not iron man himself.

one or 2 m.ore tim.E

i just need to correct (no.. that means redrawing certain parts entirely actually... another few more sleepless nights before the meetings) my drawings one or 2 more times for JJ, my manufacturer. Just went through the design for the orthosis today. sadly we couldn't have the full team present as my professor had a seminar on today so we dunno what's his input on certain issues such as the aesthetics of the design, if we should just spend a lil bit more to make it look nicer or just make it functional. i just hope his verdict wouldnt be a headache and heartache for me, i refuse to spend any further time on the drawing and i just want to start writing my report or move on to other areas such as the control devices which i'm more interested in.

mmm..

i bummed into this webby yesterday after some blog 'wolving' or so what the guys call my activity with blogs

http://www.colormekatie.blogspot.com/

and i also chance about this other graphic artist's blog some time back while researching.. as to how is it related to my fyp. i jus got no idea. it just popped up on my search lists

http://albinoraven7.blogspot.com/

take a break and have a muse. these people live in a colourful world that i wish i can retreat to.

mmm.. sidenote. for my gf.. who i now affectionately call master tie tou .. haha here's a song for you..

how much is it enough?

My gf told me today that sometimes she wonder if it is normal for me to spend so much time in fyp... and am i penalising my other modules..

to me.. i wonder if its normal for my fyp to tax me like this.

its something interesting to do, but there's too much to do and just one of me.
i have my modules to study too.
i would also like to go for training too..

I just came back from another meeting this morning, which i slept at 3am after finishing my slides and woke up again at 545am to head down to tan tock seng hospital from school. Reached there at 7 plus, decided to head to TTSH itself and have breakfast, chill at starbucks and people watch. Today was a followup for last week's meeting with the physicians and there's one more meeting this coming thurs. For that, there's also alot of 'follow-up' work to do.

things that surround me these days..

my 2 earlier meetings went okay, though the earlier was quite a disappointing as the manufacturer wasn't able to turn up... his advice would be invaluable and we could have used them to amend our work one whole shot instead of doing bits every meeting, delaying the projected date for the meeting. the later hospital one where me and my team presented to the physicians attending to our project about the operation of the device. It was good as there wasn't much complaints though they don't approved a part of my device. oh well.. wasted my effort. My prof also addressed an email to our team saying that he was impressed with the presentation. well.. that something good i guess.

there was so much to do... despite my efforts on my free time without class and the trainings i skipped, i pulled all nighters on the nights before both meetings just to avoid being whapped by professor. That icky feeling of having just 15 minutes before your presentation and you still can't finish your work sort of situation can really make a person feel crazy and lonely suddenly..and definitely very very desperate.

anyway, i think i am going to conk out soon.
i better take a nap soon before my body shuts down and before my fluids lect later.

my 25th burfday

before i continue on the next leg of my fyp marathon for the next meeting this coming thursday...

on 15th Jan, 7:18am

*hp buzz*

Joko: Hey dear dear, message me when u are up and awake k? Happy Birthday!

Me: *stops snoozing after my 7am alarm on my hp, reads message.. ponder.. mmm.. is my gf sending me food again?.. replies sms and starts sitting up at my bed stoning.. *

later again at 8:21am..

Joko: Oh u can go wash up and stuff.. but i am sending u somethin so u stay around in your room k?

Me: mmm *ponder .. i think she must be sending me mac breakfast..haha silly girl... again spend money on me.. . mmm..confirm .. reply back*

Joko: ha ha how u guess de. Then no a surprise le.. pfft..

8:30am

Joko: Hey dear dear.. where are u? go to the bus stop in front of your hall k?

Me: mmm *still stoning in my room... after waking up an hr ago. i decide to finally wash up.. , opens door.. look straight across the field and i was shocked to see my Gf walking over from the bus stop outside my room...OMG*

thanks Dear .. for the pleasant surprise the other morning, haa. it was the best bdae surprises i have so far!

thanks for taking the day off to spend it with me in school though i was busy and wasn't able to spend much time with you while you were here. Sorry for making you spend so much money on the cab on your way to school..

Thanks for the nice bag, and the cute diy scrapbook card too! haha..

my mood was kinda crappy for that week and thanks to you..

Your presence that day alone brighten my day and many other days to come too. =)

Thank You and I love you! haha.. <3<3<3

to my friends who celebrated my bdae with me one way or another last last friday

thanks guys for being there for me though i'm always busy with one activity or another...

it was really heartwarming to have you guys remember and even get me something...

thanks for supporting me and always cheering me on as i fight my fyp.

to my lawn bowling friends who decided to throw me a surprise celebration on last saturday

thanks guys for taking care of me when i am having trouble doing so... thanks for helping me recharge my batteries and the encouragement! (thanks for the funny perspiration shirt and the uniqlo shirt.. mebbe i can use it for the career fair this week)

lost

second day of school and on to my third lesson in this new semester and i feel lost in the chaos of fitting back into school... the need to get new notes, new books. nothing seem quite right at all today and i'm rather vexed over several thoughts.

i'm still trying to detach myself from my small little world which just revolves around my fyp and re-adjust back to juggling it together with other subjects and modules and trainings.

once again, everything is just fighting for a piece of my time, and the thought alone makes me feel pretty stretched already.

thinking of my fyp as i continue to rush my solidworks, kinda puts off my mood for anything else right now... that includes my very own birthday, which i don't think i will be having much of any celebrations for it at all...

speaking about bdaes..

if not for faizal's reminder last night i would have forgotten to wish ashley and gary happy bdae today... besides these two birthdays, there was also joyce's 21st birthday party last week. yu juan's 21st birthday party is also coming soon too and then there's Huikai's one next week together with my mom's.

For Ashley and Joyce, i feel bad for not being able to celebrate their bdaes like i like to, but i dun think i can fully relax and do any celebrating properly while wrestling with the thought of needing to be at my desk and rush my model out soon so i can send in for the final fabrication and this must be done soon. dilemma.

Right now each day, i'm just praying that i don't receive any email from my fyp partner and my professor for a meeting to finalise the model. Though I've been working hard everyday for the past 2 weeks, i've yet to complete my part of the model ... and it doesn't seem to be so until a few more days.

arugh,

i hate this feeling but would i fall to my death if i let go?